I think it breaks God’s heart when we blame Him for our loneliness, disappointments, problems, past hurts and setbacks. Perhaps that’s why Jesus wept, because Mary said, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.” Do we say things along the same line? Lord, if You had taken control of that situation, I wouldn’t have been hurt. Lord, if You really cared my baby would not have died. Lord, if You had been there for me, I wouldn’t have this problem or addiction.
We live in a fallen world where things happen to us that we don’t understand at all. We don’t know why we are sick or why death and trials come. We don’t know why we can’t get pregnant or why financial burdens weigh us down. We don’t understand why this person turned their backs on us or why that family member did what they did. We can’t put the pieces together and come up with the why. And in the confusion, Satan tells us lies, like, God is punishing you or God doesn’t care for you or if God loved you this wouldn’t be happening to you.
Stop listening to the lies! Instead replace the lies with truth. Listen to Father God through Holy Spirit. Let Him speak to your heart right now. He is saying, Peace, be still! Rest in and on Me. I have been with you through it all. I only wanted to help you and lift you out of the pain and suffering, but you would not have it. You called out to me with your voice but blamed me in your heart. Oh, child I didn’t cause that pain. I didn’t cause your suffering. I only give good, perfect gifts to you. Gifts that help, gifts that revive and restore, but you pushed me away. I waited and waited and still wait for you. Now I’m asking you to lift up your head and see that I am your help. I’m the way, the truth, and the life. You can rest, hope, trust and even glory in Me! You were never promised a life without pain, trials and suffering.
You were promised; however, that I would never leave nor forsake you. If only you BELIEVE! Do you believe? Do you believe that I have come to restore your soul, mend your brokenness, give you beauty for ashes and joy for mourning? I have come to set you free. It will be up to you to walk out of the prison you are in, but the doors of your captivity are open! It’s up to you to accept the offer to be free. You feel stuck because this prison has been your home for so long. It’s become your norm. To become unstuck, set yourself free by seeing that I am GOOD! Only GOOD! I want the best for you, child. Let go of the pain, bitterness, strife, manipulation, lies, fear and COME TO ME! I give you forgiveness and grace! Rest today and forever on me. I’ve got you now. You don’t have to fear or worry anymore. I am going to take good care of you. Believe it!
— From my journal, dated November 2017.
Have you tried journaling? If not, you should consider it. Usually my journaling is prayers to God and other times I write to get thoughts and feelings out of my head. Sometimes, like in this blog, I hear from God. Those are the sweetest times of my journaling. God is a constant companion and friend to me and I love to hear Him speak.
So, grab a pencil and a notebook and give journaling a try. Praying you hear from God today!
Come unto Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)