By Rodetta Cook

Rodetta Cook has been a pastor’s wife for over 40 years. She and her husband, Ron, have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. She understands the expectations, loneliness and how hard it is to find balance in ministry as a pastor’s wife. Rodetta also leads the pastor’s wives initiative at Care for Pastors called The Confidante and ministers to hundreds of wives each week. She strives to share blogs with other pastors’ wives that will help them in their ministry walk.

    Who is My Husband’s Biggest Cheerleader?

    Monday, October 31, 2016

    This blog tugged at so many heart strings last year; I decided to use it again this year.

    Ladies, I want to talk to you about your husbands and the stress of ministry.

    Who is your husband’s biggest cheerleader in ministry? I’ll tell you who: you are his biggest cheerleader. Or at least you should be, and if you aren’t then shame on you. Your husband can hear from a dozen people what a great job he did with the sermon but until he hears that from you, it really doesn’t matter. When he hears that from you, the criticism he may have heard from others diminishes because you are the one he wants to hear from.

    If you have constructive criticism to give him about something in the sermon, don’t give it to him on Sunday afternoon and maybe not even on Monday. Because Mondays seem to be their hardest day of the week after coming off from a high on Sunday; Satan throws all these darts at them Monday morning and it’s tough. So wait until the right time to offer your critique.  Don’t just give him your critiques, but praise him too. Again you are his biggest cheerleader!

    Help your husband with time management. For some reason, pastors seem to be very lax in their communication with others. Or at least that is what we find here at Care for Pastors. They don’t follow up with phone calls or emails on scheduled times.

    In the corporate world a phone call should be returned within 24 hours and an email within 48 hours. The Christian realm should set that standard even higher. If your husband is lax in this area, encourage him to do better at returning phone calls or emails. If they are struggling in doing that with people outside the church, then they are probably struggling with doing it among their flock and then they wonder why people get frustrated or become critical? Relationships and communication are vital in ministry.

    Help your husband by you being punctual. I know it is difficult at times when you have small children and so many things to balance, but try to work on your punctuality if that is an area that you seem to struggle with. That will take pressure off of your husband.

    Pray for your husband. This will go much further than you nagging him. Pray for God’s protection over him and for him to be the husband and father God wants him to be. Ask God to help him set boundaries so that life doesn’t get out of balance.

    Encourage your husband to reach out for an Ally. He needs to have a safe place where he can be real and not fear being judged or condemned. If he can’t vent and be real, he will crash and burn. Encourage him to allow Care for Pastors to be that Ally through our Pastor’s Ally program and watch him flourish just by having that safe place and accountability in place. Learn more about our Pastor’s Ally program here.

    You are your husband’s biggest cheerleader so cheer him on!

    Help us continue providing resources of care for pastors and their families.

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