What Love Requires: Following God’s Path to Deeper Relationships

A Resource Worth Sharing

I was recently made aware of a book written by a member of our Bible Fellowship Class at our church, and I feel it is a great resource for us as pastors’ wives. What Love Requires is written by Elle Page and while a lot of what she shares are things we know, but sometimes we aren’t good at implementing them. 

The Power of Words and Impressions

Here are just a few of the highlights I marked from the chapter, “Words and Impressions:” 

• Experts tell us 55% of our communication is body language, 38% is tone of voice, and only 7% is our words. 

• She introduces us to the “Ladder of Inference” model or our process of interpretation. It explains what goes on in our minds leading to what we say. 

Understanding the Ladder of Inference

Here are five key points from the Ladder of Inference: 

• 1. We are always selecting data and NEVER have all the data. 
  2. We are always adding meaning and making assumptions. 
  3. We should always take advantage of a Holy Spirit pause before we speak. 
  4. When we adopt a belief, our tendency is to seek data that supports our belief in future situations. 
  5. We are always making stories up in our head. 

The Importance of a Holy Spirit Pause

I don’t want to give away anymore of the information in this book, I want you to read it for yourself and then apply it. I believe it is a book every ministry person should have.  

Choosing Our Response

She shares this quote from Charles Swindoll – “I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it.” 

Putting Love into Action

Here is the description from the back of the book: 

How can I express a contrary opinion without offending people? What do I say to a friend who is in a challenging life situation or crisis? How can I show the love of Christ in the secular workplace? Is avoiding conflict the best way to maintain relationships? How can I tell my friend that she hurt me? 

Elle has sound, relevant answers for you. This book will help you put Jesus’ command to love one another into action in everyday conversations, at your workplace, your home, and in your community. Elle shares her stories of getting it right—and wrong, making the journey entertaining and practical. You will grow to more consistently reflect Christ’s love and draw others to him in a natural, magnetic way. 

Learning to Navigate Relationships Well

It doesn’t matter how long we have been a pastor’s wife; we will be learning how to deal with people until Jesus takes us home. I believe this practical book is a great tool for us! 

Blessings,
Rodetta 

Care for Pastors: Tools for growth in your family, church & community

Follow Care for Pastors on Facebook and YouTube for ministry encouragement, podcast episodes, resources, and support for pastoral families.