I am sure we all have a list of “what if’s” that we have asked through the years just as wives but especially as a pastor’s wife. What if my husband get fired? What if the people don’t like me? And on and on we go with our list of “what if’s.” I love the honesty and transparency of my friend, Christy. Enjoy as she shares her heart.
I have had thousands, maybe millions of what if’s. Some like: What if I lose my mind? What if my husband dies? What if my baby dies? What if my life has no meaning? What if God takes one of my kids? What if someone kidnaps my kids? What if-what if- what if? It’s enough to keep someone from serving God and having peace in their heart, right? Absolutely.
Can’t we see this is no way to live? We must learn to trust that God is sovereign and that no matter what happens, He will take care of us. Now, thinking back on my life one of the first what if’s that came to mind was, “What if I make a terrible pastor’s wife?” My response was to say, “No Lord, I can’t be a pastor’s wife. I can’t do it. I’m not like this one or that one. I’m silly and don’t fit the pastor’s wife mold. I just can’t do it!”
I went sorrowfully to a friend’s house. She was older and wiser, a widow. She had also been married to a pastor and knew how I felt. She listened with kindness and nodded her head here and there. I spilled my guts and cried my eyes out. When I was done she looked at me and said, “You reckon The Lord knows what He’s doing”? I said, “Yes, of course.” “Well”, she said, “Why don’t you shut up and let Him do it?” LOL! This friend always had a way with words. I took her advice as a word from the Lord and here I am today! I’ve come a long way. It hasn’t been easy. But through trials, sunshine and rain, I can say God is good and He has and will take care of all my what if’s!
I want to encourage you to stop asking “what if” and ask God, “What do you want to do in my life?” The “what if’s” can stunt our spiritual growth and our ministry if we spend time obsessing over them. So let’s stop asking, “What if?”