There’s an advantage to being older and having served in the ministry for many years. I am sorry, but there just is. Many years at any job have the capability of schooling you. It’s like gaining a practical education that no amount of classroom time can replace. Recently a very dear and supportive friend called to check in on me. I missed the call, but her voicemail was so precious. My thankful reply to her included this statement, “God has carried us to a wiser old age, and I wish that young people in ministry could have the same experiential wisdom from day one.” So here is a list, although not comprehensive, of things I wish I had known from the very beginning.
- I love these people and want them to be in the best place with regard to the Savior and their God.
- I love these people way more than they love me…perhaps that’s why I’m in ministry and they aren’t.
- Only give advice that works…meaning only Biblical advice…otherwise don’t comment.
- People in churches are affected by the world too. The devil seeks to destroy families.
- Every church member that refuses Biblical advice pays a cost. The longer you serve the more you see it.
- Bad things do happen to good people; that’s exactly why we need Jesus.
- Some people are fake.
- People have different personalities and react different ways.
- You’ll never change someone….only God can do that.
- Men think differently than women.
- Most troubles in the body start with a woman and they are very good at what they do. Lol.
- Don’t feel bad because someone is mean or rude….they treat everyone the same… it’s not you, it’s them.
- Sometimes bad people are hiding in your pews. Don’t be naive when it comes to children – beware and be on guard.
- Boundaries are so healthy for everyone involved. Get the boundaries books!
- No devotional book will ever compare to straight-up Bible reading.
- Learn to say no.
- Refuse to be the middleman between your husband and a member. Make the member go to your husband.
- Put your husband and children first.
- NEVER, NEVER trust flattery.
- If someone says: “I’ll never hurt you or pastor,” wait for it….it’s going to happen.
- God is faithful in every joy and every trial. There is not a friend like the lowly Jesus.
- Don’t beg people to stay. Sometimes it is good to say goodbye.
My prayers are with you on a daily basis as we continue to walk this unique role of a pastor’s wife!
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