What I Wish I Had Known from the Beginning of Ministry

There’s an advantage to being older and having served in the ministry for many years. I am sorry, but there just is. Many years at any job have the capability of schooling you. It’s like gaining a practical education that no amount of classroom time can replace. Recently a very dear and supportive friend called to check in on me. I missed the call, but her voicemail was so precious. My thankful reply to her included this statement, “God has carried us to a wiser old age, and I wish that young people in ministry could have the same experiential wisdom from day one.” So here is a list, although not comprehensive, of things I wish I had known from the very beginning.

1. I love these people and want them to be in the best place with regard to the Savior and their God.
2.  I love these people way more than they love me…perhaps that’s why I’m in ministry and they aren’t.
3. Only give advice that works…meaning only Biblical advice…otherwise don’t comment.
4. People in churches are affected by the world too. The devil seeks to destroy families.
5. Every church member that refuses Biblical advice pays a cost. The longer you serve the more you see it.
6.  Bad things do happen to good people; that’s exactly why we need Jesus.
7. Some people are fake.
8. People have different personalities and react different ways.
9. You’ll never change someone….only God can do that.
10. Men think differently than women.
11. Most troubles in the body start with a woman and they are very good at what they do. Lol.
12. Don’t feel bad because someone is mean or rude….they treat everyone the same… it’s not you, it’s them.
13. Sometimes bad people are hiding in your pews. Don’t be naive when it comes to children – beware and be on guard.
14. Boundaries are so healthy for everyone involved. Get the boundaries books!
15. No devotional book will ever compare to straight-up Bible reading.
16. Learn to say no.
17. Refuse to be the middleman between your husband and a member. Make the member go to your husband.
18. Put your husband and children first.
19. NEVER, NEVER trust flattery.
20. If someone says: “I’ll never hurt you or pastor,” wait for it….it’s going to happen.
21. God is faithful in every joy and every trial. There is not a friend like the lowly Jesus.
22. Don’t beg people to stay. Sometimes it is good to say goodbye.

My prayers are with you on a daily basis as we continue to walk this unique role of a pastor’s wife!