I’m the kind of person who, on occasion, suffers from YOLO blindness. It’s easy for me to get caught up in new ideas or exciting opportunities, conveniently ignoring the harsh reality of my current circumstances. An idea will strike, and then by 4pm I’ve made it my whole personality.
That’s exactly how I started a blog, learned to play the ukulele, and started a short-lived thrifted coffee mug business a few years back. It’s also how I almost became the proud owner of chickens.
Last winter, we moved from the suburbs to the country. I’ve never been an animal person, but assumed chicken ownership was a natural progression to country life. While my husband was “hesitant” about the idea, (read: adamantly against it), I was excited.
Fortunately, winter is long in Michigan, which gave me plenty of time to second guess my “brilliant idea” before actually buying baby chicks.
By the time spring returned, so had my sanity.
“Rachelle,” I thought to myself, “you’ve never even mowed more than a third of an acre. Maybe live here for a minute before adding flock maintenance to your to-do list.“
Thankfully, I held off on what would have inevitably become ChickenGate. I’m not a chicken person. I don’t have the attention span for the maintenance it requires- at least not in this busier season of life. Not even soaring egg prices have made me second-guess it. Sure, someday I may become a chicken lady, but now is most definitely not the time. But that near-miss got me thinking: how often do we say yes to things we have no business taking on?
There’s a variety of reasons we can find ourselves overcommitted. Maybe it’s impulsivity from YOLO blindness. Maybe it’s guilt or obligation making it feel nearly impossible for you to say no. Or maybe comparison keeps you committing to things you don’t have time for because you don’t want to get left behind.
And even if you manage to dodge all that? Life still piles it on. It can be unpredictable and relentless which makes “busyness” an unavoidable consequence of being a person.
If eight years of minimalism has taught me anything, it’s that some seasons of life will leave you busy no matter how intentional you are. However, there are things we can do to maintain more margin, prioritize the things that matter, and ensure that when we are busy, we’re busy about the right things.
Before you say yes to the next thing you’re asked to do, pause and ask these three questions first.
3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Say Yes to Anything New
1. Do I have the capacity for this?
When considering a new commitment, it’s tempting to just pop open our calendar to see if we’re free that day. However, saying yes to any new commitment requires further investigation.
Time may be the most obvious variable to consider, but it isn’t the most important one. The most important thing to assess is whether or not we have the capacity right now.
Your calendar may be wide open, but what does your mental load look like? Are you running on empty? Feeling overwhelmed? Desperate for some alone time or family time? Maybe you just came through a busy season and need a break. Or perhaps the next few months are going to be crazy and you need to keep margin in your calendar right now to prepare.
Just because something fits on your calendar, doesn’t mean it fits in your life.
2. Is the timing right?
My friend Brittani has mastered the art of making sourdough bread. It’s absolutely delicious and I’ve been buying loaves from her for a couple years now.
So, when she started hosting in-home sourdough bread making classes, I couldn’t sign up fast enough! Just imagine if I could make my own bread any day of the week?
I sat there devouring her edible work of art while paying close attention to her step-by-step sourdough instructions. A few steps in I realized something profound: I’m not in my sourdough bread making era; I’m in my chauffeur era.
With kids in middle and high school athletics, I’m currently spending more time in the driver’s seat than the kitchen. The only thing actively fermenting around here is the half finished Core Power in the bottom of my son’s basketball bag.
It’s important to note that not everything is for every season. Right now is the right time for me to exchange cash for sourdough bread. Don’t worry though. Just because it’s a no right now, doesn’t mean it has to be forever. But when we say yes to the right thing at the wrong time, it won’t take long until we loathe it.
3. Will I still Have margin if I say yes?
No matter whether you’re in a busy season or a slow one, margin is a must. Margin is the space we leave within our day to be a person and savor the very season we’re in—no matter what that season looks like.
Sure, if you’re wrapping up residency, building a business, packing for a move, caring for a newborn, or managing a family calendar that feels more like a level one emergency room triage board, maintaining margin is going to take more intentionality. But it’s still a necessity.
The secret to making and maintaining margin no matter what season you’re in is to undercommit. So often we fill our calendars to a manageable level, but then “life” happens and we quickly find ourselves in over our heads. If life has taught us anything, it’s that something unexpected is always around the corner. It may be something as simple as my middle schooler forgetting about a school project that’s due tomorrow. Or it might be as complex as a new diagnosis and pending surgery wrecking all your best laid plans.
If you want margin you have to make it. And if you want to keep that margin from getting enveloped by unexpected circumstances, you’ve got to leave wiggle room for those circumstances to occur.
Learning How to Be Busy Well
At the end of the day, saying yes to something new isn’t simply about whether it’s doable or exciting. It’s about whether it’s wise for you, right now. Every single yes costs us something, and if we’re not careful, we’ll spend our limited time, energy, and sanity on things that weren’t meant for us in this season.
So before you find yourself knee-deep in chickens to care for, a sourdough starter to keep alive, or a calendar covered in new commitments, give yourself time to look at your life with intention rather than impulsivity. Remember, it’s okay to let a good thing wait until it’s actually a good time.
Click here to read the original article from Becoming Minimalist
