By Robert White

Dr. Robert White was raised in central Florida and completed his Bachelor’s degree at the University of Central Florida. After college, he completed the Master of Divinity and Doctor of Ministry degrees at Luther Rice Seminary in Atlanta, Georgia. For more than 40 years he has served as pastor of churches in Florida and in Massachusetts. In October 2016, Dr. White joined Care For Pastors as a Pastoral Counselor/Coach. Robert currently resides with his wife, Kaye, in Leesburg, Florida.

    Three Questions to Help You Reconnect With Your Spouse

    Thursday, February 27, 2020

    I recently read a book by Wayne Cordeiro, titled, “Leading on Empty”.  In the book he makes the following statement, “Healthy marriages require intentionality and planned investment.”

    I couldn’t agree more.

    At the same time, I was reading a blog about how to energize your relationships.  Here are three questions that can add value, vitality, and vibrance, to any relationship.  The article suggested that these questions could be asked at the beginning of every week.  If you are not able to do that, try it once a month.

    1. What is on your agenda this week?

    Or, what are you facing this week?  This helps me understand what my spouse is facing. It gets me back in touch with my wife’s needs.

    2. What has made you feel loved during the last week?

    This question is intended to help me remember my wife’s love language. If I am listening to what made her feel loved last week, I can repeat those things.  I desperately want my wife to feel loved.

    3. How can I pray for you?

    The purpose of this question should be obvious. Praying together promotes oneness of spirit and puts us in touch with the ONE who loves us deeply, forgives us completely, accepts us fully, and empowers us freely.

    I think these are great questions. Why not give them a try? They will work for other relationships as well. Parent/Child, Best friends, etc.

    Pastors, you are not alone. Care for Pastors exists to help pastors and their families navigate through the unique challenges of pastoral ministry. Whether it is empathy fatigue, church conflict, or marital challenges, we are here to help. Reach out to us.

    Help us continue providing resources of care for pastors and their families.

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