By Rodetta Cook

Rodetta Cook has been a pastor’s wife for over 40 years. She and her husband, Ron, have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. She understands the expectations, loneliness and how hard it is to find balance in ministry as a pastor’s wife. Rodetta also leads the pastor’s wives initiative at Care for Pastors called The Confidante and ministers to hundreds of wives each week. She strives to share blogs with other pastors’ wives that will help them in their ministry walk.

    The Unexpected

    Monday, May 03, 2021

    Life as a pastor’s wife is so hard and especially when we find ourselves in situations that we know we are going to be judged on. I want to share a blog written by a pastor’s wife who has found herself in that tough situation.

    Last week I was able to minister to a friend whose daughter is pregnant and not married. My advice was pretty simple, “Show grace and unconditional love to Savannah. She needs you now more than ever.” So easy to let those words roll out of my mouth.

    This mom came to me because she knows my oldest daughter became pregnant before getting married. It’s amazing how your pain can birth a ministry.  Little did I know, just two days after giving that advice to my friend, I would have to give the same advice to myself. My other daughter who just got married is 20 weeks pregnant. I can’t say I’m shocked. It’s been in the back of mind this whole time. I think the Lord knew I couldn’t take any shocking news, so He lovingly nudged me to let me know and prepare me. He’s so good to do stuff like that.

    We, as a family, are doing well. It seems this news has actually brought us all together in some ways. We need each other as we “sit” on a secret that can’t be hidden much longer. Being a pastor’s family, we live in a glass house and people are constantly peering in to take a look. Will they pass judgment on us and wonder where we went wrong as parents? Yes, I am certain they will. Will we be gossiped about? Absolutely and the sad part is, some who do this are those in our Christian circle, other Pastors and their wives. How do I know this? Because they have gossiped about other families in this predicament, so why would we be any different. Will there be those who rejoice that our child has fallen into sin? You better believe it. Will there be those who love on us and show us grace? Yes, there will be and those are our people, the grace givers.

    My heart breaks as I know the reality of our current situation and there’s nothing I can do, but swallow my pride, lift my head to the heavens and trust God. Oh, how I trust Him! Not only has my relationship with my family been enriched from all this, my relationship with my Father has been greatly enriched too. I think it’s because He is taking me through things I never ever thought I could survive.

    Whatever you’re going through, please know God is with you and He will never fail you. Find strength, comfort and support in Him. He will get you through this! Lift your voice and praise Him in the storm! He is so good to us all!

    Psalm 46:1-3 “God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though its waters roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with its swelling.” – Christy

    I am sure there are pastors’ wives reading this today who can relate, whether it’s in the past or you are living it right now. Please give yourself, your family and your children loving grace.

    We are here to walk with you on your journey no matter what you are going through!



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