By Patti Johnson

Patti has been volunteering with Care for Pastors with The Confidante for Pastors’ Wives for 7 years after she and her husband received counsel from Care for Pastors as a way to give back to the ministry. She joined the Care for Pastors staff in January 2020. Patti is one of the administrators of The Confidante Private Facebook group for pastors' wives and is a regular contributor to weekly blogs. She loves to use her gifts and abilities to support the needs of the ministry. Patti has been married to her Pastor husband Keith for 36 years. They have 3 adult children who all to their delight live in Florida.

    Tested Trust (Part 2)

    Monday, June 10, 2024

    God continues to ask me to trust Him and to trust the people He has in place to carry out His plans for my healing. I know God is in the details, and that He is carrying out those details through the hands of the medical staff working with me for my treatment.

    Chemo, I thought, is what happens to others, not to me. But God had it in my life plan to experience. So, I set out to trust Him through all of it. Then I realized He is carrying out that care through the knowledge, skill, and care of people. People I did not know, people I did not choose, and people I am required to trust with my care.

    Where do you start when you have such a big mountain to climb? You start at the foundation. The widest, strongest part of what you are about to climb. The part that is holding everything else up.  The part on which you will put your foot and take a step, and then another, and then another…

    The longer you climb and the higher you get, you look back and see the foundation is still there, still strong, still sure to support you. You trust the foundation on which you are supported.

    You come upon a ledge that you have not yet placed your foot but, in order to move forward and up, you must place your foot there and climb.

    This is how I have felt these last 6 months. Climbing up the mountain of chemo. Trusting people to do their job and do it well. Trusting people to communicate, not only with each other, but to me. Trusting people to be in the details of medicines administered and checking and double checking to make sure it is all right. The details that will make a difference to my life.

    When God uses people…

    Ultimately, I have been trusting God to put all the right people in place to care for me as He has planned.  God has seen to the details.  People have seen to the details. And I am almost at the top of the mountain that I have been climbing. The foundation is strong, and I am secure.

    God has given me tests along the way, so I don’t lose my footing. Each nurse I see who administers the chemo has been a joy. I feel like I have been seen. Each time I give blood for more lab work, I feel confident in the hands of the one who holds the needle to draw blood. No hesitancy of skill, just confidence and compassion. Each result read has been accurate and explained. I feel safe in the care of my oncologist. He listens, then responds. I have been heard.

    God has taken me on another test. Do I trust Him? Do I trust people He has put in place for His plans for me?

    Yes. Tested Trust once again is giving me confidence to take the next step up that mountain. God is with me, and I believe with the people He has chosen for me.

    God sees me. God hears me. God cares for me.

    When I reach the summit, I will look back and be so thrilled at all the faces God has been in.

    Tested Trust. For my good. For my future. For His glory.

    Psalm 139 is so rich in who God is. It has brought me comfort and confidence. Perhaps read it for yourself and gain new insight as God gives you opportunity for Tested Trust. God sees you.

    Below is the first 6 verses of Psalm 139:

    You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
    You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
    You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
    Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
    You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

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