Serving With Understanding as a Pastor’s Wife

    Monday, September 11, 2023

    The ministry undoubtedly calls for hearts that are turned towards Christ in service. If one does not have his mind to pour out of oneself serving in HIS call will always be a challenge.

    But once we respond to that call wholeheartedly, I might suggest it is the next lesson in understanding about balance that needs strengthening as much as one’s willingness to sacrifice.

    Trampolining from a childhood in ministry life I threw all caution to the wind in my pursuit of souls to reach with the message of Christ’s love. Mine included. Sweet abandonment with a not so healthy dose of absent boundaries meant giving was automatic but knowing when not to pour out so heavily. That was unchartered waters. By this I mean it was not only left unexplored, but the idea of boundaries was attached to hazard and self-centeredness, or so I believed.

    So, as you can imagine marrying a man who walked in ministry became yet another classroom in which to learn expedient lessons. One such lesson being the heart of Christ and the mind of Christ: pursuing those He loved, but knowing without doubt what His purpose and assignments were and what was NOT.

    This pursuit led me through scriptures where the all loving Jesus walked away. Shook dust from His feet, knew He could do no great miracles amongst familiarity, allowed men to walk away sorrowful and did not chase them, leaving their heavy consciences unappeased.

    Could such a Jesus exist in me? Could there be qualities of His mind that mine had not aligned with? I began to see with renewed vision why the Word says; “Then you will know what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Jesus did not pursue to please, He pursued to pierce a need.

    Where he saw only mere of pleasure He did not bend so naturally. The request of wine to keep the wedding crowd entertained was not why He came and He told his mother so! It wasn’t His time to pursue. But in obedience to His mother a miracle occurred at His bidding.

    We are often as ministry wives ladened with the ‘more’ expectations. The one more thing we ought to be, say or do. Yet, unbeknownst to many the weight inside that gold fishbowl is already heavy and sacrificial.

    I would like to remind you and I, that perhaps keeping the eyes outside the bowl happy is not our call. But to do only as He bids. To administer needs and not wants: to say a firm “no” if Christ affirms it and a bold “yes” when He says go.

    The fruit we share with others is not to be modified for other’s pleasure, but if Christ says feed, it will be wholesome and nutritious.

    Let us learn like Jesus to be bountiful in love and boundaries.

    Help us continue providing resources of care for pastors and their families.

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