Our pastor recently did a sermon series on “Safe People” which was from the book Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. This was such a great series, I ordered the book and I would highly recommend it to you.
Here are just a few notes I took on the first three chapters. So you can see there is a lot packed in this book that is very useful in everyday life and relationships.
- Three Categories of unsafe people:
- Abandoners (good starters but can’t finish)
- Critics (Pointing out negatives – passive/aggressive or over aggressive)
- Irresponsiblers (Never take responsibility)
4 Personal Traits of Unsafe People
- People who “Seem to have it together.”
- They will withdrawal if you become vulnerable.
- They will judge you.
- They are religious instead of spiritual.
- Apologize vs. Repent.
- Demand trust vs. earning trust (love is free trust is earned)
4 Personal Traits of Safe People
- They will encourage you and cheer you on.
- They pass the time test. Test of character.
- They invest in us not in “I.”
- Will connect not avoid.
I don’t want to share anymore of my notes because I want you to get this book and put it to use in your life.
Here is an excerpt from the description on the back of the book:
Have you ever given your best and gotten the worst in return? The wounds inflicted by an “unsafe” person can go deep. If you’ve ever been in a relationship where you were used, abused, or abandoned, then Safe People is for you. It will help you make wise choices in relationships from friendship to romance. You’ll discover why good people can get tangled in bad relationships. And you’ll learn how to avoid repeating your own mistakes and how to pick safe, healthy people for the friends you make and the company you keep. This book will help you restructure your approach to relationships. Put an end to getting burned—and start enjoying the healthy, balanced relationships everyone wants and needs.
I believe this is a book that is important for every person but especially for those of us in ministry to understand some of the healthy and unhealthy traits in ourselves and others.
