By Rodetta Cook

Rodetta Cook has been a pastor’s wife for over 40 years. She and her husband, Ron, have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. She understands the expectations, loneliness and how hard it is to find balance in ministry as a pastor’s wife. Rodetta also leads the pastor’s wives initiative at Care for Pastors called The Confidante and ministers to hundreds of wives each week. She strives to share blogs with other pastors’ wives that will help them in their ministry walk.

    Refreshed. Encouraged. Purposed.

    Monday, November 05, 2018

    We had our 2nd Confidante Retreat a few weeks ago and I would like to share one of the wives’ testimonies of the weekend together.

    Almost two years ago, we left behind every comfort of familiarity, relationships and financial security to accept a call that God had placed on us. It was only a few months into the assignment before I was feeling tired, discouraged and questioning my role as the pastor’s wife.

    However, last weekend I attended the Confidante Retreat with other pastors’ wives. Within minutes of entering my room, God blessed me. I met my roommate for the weekend and quickly recognized that I was able to simply be me!  I could dialogue with others openly AND honestly! I had no responsibilities – no cooking, no cleaning, no children, no preparations!

    Some people can understand and relate with me…my mind doesn’t turn off. I am constantly thinking about what needs completed, what needs improved, why did that happen, etc.  But, on Saturday, my mind was cleared and emptied the minute I picked up a paintbrush. I escaped into another world as we painted a canvas reminding me to have peace and be filled with joy. Truly, these 40+ hours refreshed me physically, emotionally and mentally!

    Hearing stories from other pastors’ wives encouraged me to keep moving forward. Knowing that other pastoral families are experiencing similar situations within their ministries, I was able to believe what I knew to be true – there is no perfect church. I learned that obstacles will come our way, but we are not alone! In one of the sessions, I heard, “God isn’t as interested in your situations as He is in the way you respond to the situations.” This moved me to consider steps for reacting. I am so thankful that God provided an opportunity for me to meet other women who have similar callings and visions as a pastor’s wife. Meeting some ladies that share the same desires for ministry beside their husbands, the same level of involvement in ministry, and the same love and passion for Jesus Christ, I feel like I have gained friendships in Jesus that will help lead me to be more holy in the way that I respond to situations in front of me.

    On Saturday we talked about the fact that God made me and I am God’s girl! He wants me to enjoy Him because He enjoys me, not because of what I do, but what I “be.” Having time to process these words again allowed me to remember that He made me and He designed me. He put my husband and me together for a reason! Because of this, the Lord reminded me that I need to lean into the voice of God, my creator, not the voice of people around me. Releasing the expectations that people tried to box me in as a pastor’s wife, and remembering that I was designed for such a time as this sent me home purposed again.

    Sitting here just over a week later, I am filled with thankfulness for husband’s strong nudging to attend the retreat. Little did I know just how much I needed this time to simply “be” so that God could refresh, encourage and purpose me again for His use!

    – Heather

    Ladies, I hope this will remind you that you are not alone on the ministry journey and encourage you to attend the next Retreat.

    We are here to walk with you on your journey.

    Help us continue providing resources of care for pastors and their families.

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