By Rodetta Cook

Rodetta Cook has been a pastor’s wife for over 40 years. She and her husband, Ron, have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. She understands the expectations, loneliness and how hard it is to find balance in ministry as a pastor’s wife. Rodetta also leads the pastor’s wives initiative at Care for Pastors called The Confidante and ministers to hundreds of wives each week. She strives to share blogs with other pastors’ wives that will help them in their ministry walk.

    Peace Maker

    Monday, April 11, 2022

    By Anita W.

    Peace…a cease-fire from all the chaos in the world and the conflict in our personal lives, accompanied by a permanent state of calmness and unity. Mmmm! That sounds absolutely delightful to me. But it seems so elusive at times, doesn’t it?

    In 33 years of marriage, ministry, and parenting with my amazing husband; service in jobs or other positions where my role was either in leadership or support; through friendships and extended- family relationships I have experienced unnumbered situations where peacemaking was badly needed and at which I sometimes failed miserably, even when my intentions were good! Through all the ups and downs Father has used these situations to teach me a great deal about what it means to be a peace MAKER. Here are the highlights (usually learned during the lowlights, LOL):

    • The person yelling the loudest is many times the one with the weakest position to defend.
    • The person who defaults to insults and emotional gut-punches is many times the one who lacks sufficient coping skills with which to engage in a constructive exchange.
    • Do not return evil with evil. As my Gran used to say, “Two wrongs don’t make it right.”
    • Relationship is more important than being right.
    • Letting go of dysfunction is better than contributing to it.
    • Martyrdom is usually not conducive to resolution and sometimes generates resentment.
    • Passive aggressiveness is still aggression.
    • Prayer helps more than I am sometimes aware at the time.
    • Peace KEEPING can be unhealthy, un-loving, and sometimes downright dangerous. There is wisdom and safety in knowing the difference.
    • Peace MAKING and peace KEEPING are not necessarily the same thing. (Absolutely, this one!)
    • Blessings come to the Peace MAKERS.

    Each of the above points has an accompanying lesson and skillset all its own, so it may be best for you, Sweet Friends, if I don’t even begin! Mercifully, Father continues to teach me, show me, give me insight from His Word; and offer me the privilege of a hands-on education in the School of Hard Knocks. Yay for me!

    This much I know: Christ made peace with Father on my behalf through an unspeakably bloody, unimaginably messy, unfathomably beautiful transaction that cost Him His life but redeemed mine. Maybe someday I’ll get it all figured out. But for now, I’m incredibly thankful for those occasions when He has either raised up a Peace Maker in a situation in which I’ve been involved, or afforded me the privilege of being one. That He even looks my way from time to time to choose me to do so overwhelms and amazes me.

    Peacemaking can be messy work, to be sure. But being named, “Child of God” is so very priceless, that any price is worth it.

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