By Rodetta Cook

Rodetta Cook has been a pastor’s wife for over 40 years. She and her husband, Ron, have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. She understands the expectations, loneliness and how hard it is to find balance in ministry as a pastor’s wife. Rodetta also leads the pastor’s wives initiative at Care for Pastors called The Confidante and ministers to hundreds of wives each week. She strives to share blogs with other pastors’ wives that will help them in their ministry walk.

    Passion Pursuit

    Monday, July 26, 2021

    By Christy Kirtlan

    Years ago, I was a co-teacher with our youth minister leading the teens through True Love Waits, a purity movement. Of course, we split the girls from the boys, and I spent a lot of time over several weeks counseling the girls on the benefits of sexual purity and the value of the marriage relationship God intended.  Fast forward and some of those girls came to me as young married women and said to me, “You did a good job of teaching us what not to do about sex before marriage, but you didn’t teach us how to love our husbands.”

    I researched the best, most scriptural studies on God’s intention for sex and intimacy in marriage and found “Passion Pursuit” by Dr. Juli Slattery and Linda Dillow. I prayed over the women in our church and felt that God led me to the right women for the first group. I chose one of the women (in her 20’s) who had come to me, a woman in her 30’s, one in her 40’s and two of us in our 50’s. I personally invited each one in a face-to-face conversation. Surprisingly, each accepted my invitation.

    This month’s resource recommendation is Dr. Slattery and Linda Dillow’s 10-week video driven study, Passion Pursuit. This is not the kind of study that you would open up to the women of your church and host a large group. This is a private, intimate small group that I would recommend six participants or less of different generations if possible and hosted in your home. The first week, I explained the importance of the confidentiality of the group and that the purpose of the group was not to bash our husbands or reveal intimate issues that would embarrass our husbands. Each participant also agreed that they would maintain confidentiality and be respectful of the other participants.

    Here’s a description of the study from the Authentic Intimacy website (

    Did you know that God has an opinion about sex, your marriage, and your healing and redemption? Using Song of Solomon and Scripture throughout the Bible, you will discover answers to questions on topics as diverse as: what’s okay and not okay in the bedroom, temptation, forgiveness, a wife’s power, and how and why to pursue passion. For each of the ten weeks, you will watch a 30-40 minute video of Juli & Linda teaching and then have 5 days of homework to complete in your workbook.

    Please check out the Authentic Intimacy website for additional information. If you are interested in future online studies, please let us know.

    We are praying for you and your marriage!

    Help us continue providing resources of care for pastors and their families.

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