By Rodetta Cook

Rodetta Cook has been a pastor’s wife for over 40 years. She and her husband, Ron, have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. She understands the expectations, loneliness and how hard it is to find balance in ministry as a pastor’s wife. Rodetta also leads the pastor’s wives initiative at Care for Pastors called The Confidante and ministers to hundreds of wives each week. She strives to share blogs with other pastors’ wives that will help them in their ministry walk.

    Only Men Struggle with Porn?

    Monday, October 10, 2022

    I recently received an email from a ministry that we recommend to all pastoral families for internet accountability, and that is Covenant Eyes. I felt led to share it with you ladies today because I know with the number of wives receiving this there are some who deal with this or may know of a wife who does.

    Sister, do you have a struggle that keeps you in silence—a struggle most people say you shouldn’t have? They say porn is only a guy’s issue and that women aren’t tempted by it.

    They’re wrong. Dead wrong.

    The lie that only guys struggle with porn may make you feel isolated, disconnected… all alone. But you’re not. Many women struggle with porn. They just don’t want to talk about it.

    Thankfully, there is help. Covenant Eyes has resources exclusively for women. Videos, personal stories, recovery plans, and most of all, hope.

    Breaking free from the temptation of porn is possible. Many women have done it and can share with you how to as well.

    Start by going to Covenant Eyes Resource Center for Women www.covenanteyes.com. There you will find how other women achieved victory over porn and how you can, too.

    Will you do one thing for me, sister? Will you take that first step? Everyone’s journey looks different. For some, it takes a long time. But will you commit to simply start? I want to see you find victory. But you have to start. You’ve got this, and I’m pulling for you. – Samantha

    The following research may be an eye-opener for many and I feel we as pastors’ wives need to be aware.

    The research studies, primarily by the Barna Group and Covenant Eyes, reveal that initial exposure to porn begins in childhood and progresses.

    The research studies, primarily by the Barna Group and Covenant Eyes, reveal that initial exposure to porn begins in childhood and progresses.

    Access to porn is increasingly easy due to the wide variety of formats now available, such as printed materials, the internet, DVDs, television and more.

    Let’s look at some data to see the scope and effects of porn in society and the church.

      • Over 40 million Americans are regular visitors to porn sites. The average visit lasts 6 minutes and 29 seconds
      • There are around 42 million porn websites, which totals around 370 million pages of porn.
      • The porn industry’s annual revenue is more than the NFL, NBA, and MLB combined. It is also more than the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, and NBC.
      • 47% of families in the United States reported that pornography is a problem in their home. Pornography use increases the marital infidelity rate by more than 300%.
      • 11 is the average age that a child is first exposed to porn, and 94% of children will see porn by the age of 14.
      • 56% of American divorces involve one party having an “obsessive interest” in pornographic websites.
      • 70% of Christian youth pastors report that they have had at least one teen come to them for help in dealing with pornography in the past 12 months.
      • 68% of church-going men and over 50% of pastors view porn on a regular basis. Of young Christian adults 18-24 years old, 76% actively search for porn.
      • 59% of pastors said that married men seek their help for porn use.
      • 33% of women age 25 and under search for porn at least once per month.
      • Only 13% of self-identified Christian women say they never watch porn—87% of Christian women have watched porn.
      • 55% of married men and 25% of married women say they watch porn at least once a month.
      • 57% of pastors say porn addiction is the most damaging issue in their congregation. 69% say porn has adversely impacted the church.

    This research should make us all open our eyes. We no longer have to go looking for porn, it comes looking for us. That is why I encourage every pastor, spouse and PK to have Covenant Eyes on their devices. It’s time that churches and Christians get their head out of the sand and realize this is a real issue in our society, our churches and yes in many pastoral families.

    We are here to walk this ministry journey with you. Please let us know how we can help.

    Help us continue providing resources of care for pastors and their families.

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