By Rodetta Cook

Rodetta Cook has been a pastor’s wife for over 40 years. She and her husband, Ron, have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. She understands the expectations, loneliness and how hard it is to find balance in ministry as a pastor’s wife. Rodetta also leads the pastor’s wives initiative at Care for Pastors called The Confidante and ministers to hundreds of wives each week. She strives to share blogs with other pastors’ wives that will help them in their ministry walk.

Posted by Rodetta Cook

    Ministry is Hard

    Monday, August 18, 2014

    As you begin this week I have a question for you. Is ministry becoming an overwhelming challenge for you or are you staying balanced emotionally and spiritually?

    Does this ever sound like you?

                            “I can’t do this anymore.”

                            “Ministry is not for me.”

                            “I want to leave my pastor husband.”

                            “My husband is a pastor, but I don’t want to be a pastor’s wife.”

                            “This is too hard.”

                            “I can’t please anyone.”

                             Satan would love nothing more than to defeat you by whispering to you:

                            “You’re not making any difference.”

                            “You’ll never be able to minister to that person.”

                            “All that criticism? That’s who you are.”

                            “You’re a failure.”

                            “Why do you even try? Those people don’t even care about you.”

                            “God isn’t using you.”

                            “You shouldn’t be a pastor’s wife if you struggle with that.”

                            “Your kids aren’t acting like pastors’ kids.”

    The list could go on and on. I pray you are not allowing your emotions or Satan’s lies to control your mind and cause you to become discouraged. Yes, ministry is hard, but God promises us He will go with us through whatever He allows to come our way.

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    1. Ivette

      I have been married to my husband now for 17 years. Out of the 17 years, he has been in ministry about that long. I have never, until now, felt so resentful, angry and frustration for him and ministry as I do today. We struggled with some issues in our marriage last year and we tried to work through them, but he rejected the idea of counseling. I feel like his work is his worth and because he claims it’s for the Lord, he justifies his lack of involvement at home. I am still angry at some things that happened last year and often feel like this is not for me. I am not called to be his wife, nor do I want to continue to be his wife. I have often thought about seperation and divorce. I dont’ believe that his calling is mine and would rather not deal with having to compete with the church and it’s people. I am a bliever. I am saved and know the Lord as my personal savior. I pray about my feelings and read the word seeking guidance for the emotions that overcome me. I understand that emotions cannot be trusted, only the truth in God’s word and His promise. Every day that passes, makes me more and more distance from my husband and from the ministry. I see people in the church to be disrespectful and have no boundaries. I don’t care to be involved in ministry any longer.

      • Jason

        I was a pastor for 13 years. I recently resigned to begin a ministry to ministers. My wife once said that these were the hardest13 years of our lives. I think she’s right. But we have always been together in the ministry. I could not do it without her. I would choose my wife over a church any day. If my relationship with her is not right, I’m not qualified to minister anyway.

    2. stephanie cohrac

      Im struggling with some of these thoughts. “I feel like I can’t keep going on like this. ” “I want to give up. ” “I feel extremely overwhelmed. ” “I can’t give anymore. ” “No one cares” “no one likes me. ” “what’s the point, why do I keep trying. ” and so on.
      We are pretty young. My husband is 28 and I’m 29. My husband just finished his year internship and is now considered officially a pastor. We have a very unique ministry and it’s very very Difficult and in beginning to feel so very discouraged. We know God has called us here but I do feel like we are stretched too thin. And that it is unhealthy. I have no one to talk to about this. I don’t know where to draw the line. We give up SO much. I only do it for our Lord but Wondering if we should give up something. Im not getting a clear answer from our Lord but I don’t have peace. I hate feeling this way. There are so may problems and I am struggling to see the good in all this.
      , Stephanie


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