By Rodetta Cook

Rodetta Cook has been a pastor’s wife for over 40 years. She and her husband, Ron, have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. She understands the expectations, loneliness and how hard it is to find balance in ministry as a pastor’s wife. Rodetta also leads the pastor’s wives initiative at Care for Pastors called The Confidante and ministers to hundreds of wives each week. She strives to share blogs with other pastors’ wives that will help them in their ministry walk.

    Letter to a Wounded Pastor

    Wednesday, September 11, 2019

    By Darryl Dash

    Dear Pastor,

    Thank you for your ministry.

    It may not seem like it right now, but God has used you. I know this because God uses the kinds of things you’ve done — preaching the Word, praying for your people, caring for sheep, calling people to worship — to make an eternal difference. We often don’t get to see the results of our ministries, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t any.

    I know you’re not perfect. I’m sure you’ve made mistakes. But I want to remind you of a few things today. I hope it encourages you.

    You’re Not Alone

    Feeling rejected and beat up? Isaiah was warned about this kind of thing (Isaiah 6:9-10). Jesus’ family called him crazy (Mark 3:21). Everyone deserted Paul (2 Timothy 4:16). They fired Jonathan Edwards. Join the club.

    I know it doesn’t make it much easier, but you’re not alone. Many of God’s best servants have been there. You’re in very good company.

    We Are Not Our Ministries

    I know we know this, but I forget often: we are not our ministries. In The Imperfect Pastor, Zack Eswine asks, “Did I know that I could serve Christ humanly and significantly whether or not I was a pastor or leader in ministry?”

    Your worth doesn’t come from how well your ministry is going. Again, I believe this, but I don’t. Our value in God’s eyes is based on Jesus, not the ups and downs of our ministries. Your primary identity is that of son, and that identity is not in danger.

    Rest secure. The most important thing about you is unchangeable (Romans 8:38-39). Rest in his love for you. It hasn’t changed.

    God Will Set Things Right

    We don’t have to settle scores because God will (Romans 12:19). Trust God with your pain. He is able to handle it. He knows what happens. He will judge so we don’t have to. God is equitable; he can sort things out. We can trust him completely.

    “Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm,” wrote Paul. So what did Paul do about it? Nothing, beyond warning his readers. He entrusted it to God. “The Lord will repay him according to his deeds,” he said (2 Timothy 4:14).

    Hold on to this truth: God knows the wrongs committed against you. Entrust those who have wronged you to him. God will right every wrong.

    God Can Use Even This

    One of my favorite tweets comes from Ray Ortlund:

    Believe me: God won’t waste anything you’re going through. What others mean for evil, God can use for good (Genesis 50:20). God may use this experience to lead you to healthier ministry in the future.

    I know that this post can’t take away your pain. But I hope it reminds you of some thing things that are true. God isn’t finished with you. His love for you is unchanging. There’s more hope in your future than you can imagine. “When the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory” (1 Peter 5:4).

    I pray that God will encourage you even in the middle of this trial. Hang in there. You’re not alone. You are worth more to God than your ministry. He will set things right. And God will use even this.

    He is faithful, and you are loved.

    Click here to read the original blog on

    My name is Darryl Dash. I’m a pastor and church planter in Toronto with over 25 years of ministry experience, and author of How to Grow: Applying the Gospel to All of Life. I’m married to Charlene and have two adult children: Christy and Josiah. I love reading, technology, good movies, and exploring cities. I have the privilege of serving as pastor of Liberty Grace Church. I also help equip church planters with FEB Central. Together with Charlene, I founded Gospel for Life, an online resource designed to help people grow. I’m a graduate of Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary (D.Min.), Heritage Theological Seminary (M.Div.), and University of Waterloo (B.A.).

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