By Rodetta Cook

Rodetta Cook has been a pastor’s wife for over 40 years. She and her husband, Ron, have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. She understands the expectations, loneliness and how hard it is to find balance in ministry as a pastor’s wife. Rodetta also leads the pastor’s wives initiative at Care for Pastors called The Confidante and ministers to hundreds of wives each week. She strives to share blogs with other pastors’ wives that will help them in their ministry walk.

    Learning to Say “No”

    Monday, August 15, 2016

    Do any of you have a problem saying, “NO?” I feel certain everyone reading this has that problem. Because we as pastors’ wives feel like we have to say yes to everything and everybody. And we all know that is the best way to burn ourselves out. We must learn to say “no” to good things so we can say “yes” to the best. I have learned through 38 years of ministry that it is okay to say “no” and not feel guilty. It took me many years to learn that lesson but I finally learned it and wow, how freeing it was!

    I was recently made aware of a book by Lysa TerKeurst The Best Yes that I would recommend every pastor’s wife read and re-read. Lysa is the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and a best-selling author. You will enjoy this book I promise.

    Are you living with the stress of an overwhelmed schedule and aching with the sadness of an underwhelmed soul? Here is what you will glean from this book:

    Lysa TerKeurst is learning that there is a big difference between saying yes to everyone and saying yes to God. In The Best Yes she will help you:

    • Cure the disease to please with a biblical understanding of the command to love.
    • Escape the shame and guilt of disappointing others by learning the secret of the small no.
    • Overcome the agony of hard choices by embracing a wisdom-based decision-making process.
    • Rise above the rush of endless demands and discover your Best Yes today.

    Max Lucado says this about her book: “Lysa deals with a universal condition. She calls it ‘the disease to please.’ Those of us who are afflicted will find her counsel timely and practical. I did.”

    I imagine many of you have this disease. I know I have had it and, thankful that I am now free most of the time, there are times I find myself slipping backwards. I pray you will learn to say that two-letter word “no” without guilt. I don’t believe God wants us to live with that disease.

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