I Know a Pastor’s Wife

I want to share a blog written by a friend who is a pastor’s wife that tells her story. It is so hard for us in our unique roles to not allow the stress and loneliness of ministry to steal our identity. I pray what she has to share will encourage you.

I once knew a Pastor’s wife who was rejected at every turn, and after so much repeated rejection, her heartbeat in the ministry simply stopped.

I once knew a Pastor’s wife who watched her husband go through so much stress in the ministry that he lost his joy and was physically sick every single day that he lived.

I once knew a Pastor’s wife who had to stop before entering the church building at every single service and beg God to help her make it through just one more.

I once knew a Pastor’s wife who watched her children pull into a shell, and due to threats made on her family, were so frightened to go to sleep at night alone that they slept with her every night…and her heart broke into pieces.

I once knew a Pastor’s wife who woke up every day and begged God to help her minister to people who viciously attacked her at every turn…consistently reminding herself that she is doing what she is doing because God had called her to, that her children were watching, that she couldn’t let them see her quit, and that her husband needed her to stay strong because he couldn’t do it alone, so therefore, giving up was not an option.

I once knew a Pastor’s wife who cried herself to sleep every night and begged God to help her not give up and grow bitter.

I once knew a Pastor’s wife who, even after God delivered them and moved them on, struggled with, and watched her family struggle with PTSD…begging God daily to help their hearts heal.

I once knew a Pastor’s wife who began to finally feel safe, cared for, accepted, appreciated, and loved.

I once knew a Pastor’s wife who still often found herself crying as she lay her head down at night, but now the tears were flowing not from hurt, fear, brokenness, loneliness and pain, but due to the joy of watching God slowly heal the hearts of her family.

I once knew a Pastor’s wife who could finally, once again, hear her children and husband laughing and playing together as it should be.

I once knew a Pastor’s wife who once again realized there was joy in serving Jesus.

I once knew a Pastor’s wife who slowly realized that God had answered her prayers, was healing her heart little by little, and her heartbeat that had stopped… had once again returned.

That Pastor’s wife is me.

That healing heart is mine.

That joy that was stolen has returned and I thank my God daily for it!

I will never forget when I prayed for the things that I have now.

I will never forget the prayers that I prayed and the answers God gave.

I will never forget to be thankful for the pain as well as the joy, for it has brought me to where I am today!

— Anita

I am so thankful Anita is allowing God to turn her ashes into beauty and He is doing a work in her heart and life that will allow her to serve Him joyfully once again.

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