Posted by Rodetta Cook

Rodetta Cook has been a pastor’s wife for over 40 years. She and her husband, Ron, have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. She understands the expectations, loneliness and how hard it is to find balance in ministry as a pastor’s wife. Rodetta also leads the pastor’s wives initiative at Care for Pastors called The Confidante and ministers to hundreds of wives each week. She strives to share blogs with other pastors’ wives that will help them in their ministry walk.

Posted by Rodetta Cook

Topics: For Pastors' Wives · Resources for Pastors' Wives

Forgiving What You Can’t Forget

Monday, March 22, 2021

Life is full of hurts and disappointments. What do we do when someone hurts us so deeply, we think we will never be able to forgive them? How do we forgive what we can’t forget?

I want to recommend a book that I think every pastor’s wife should have on her shelf, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa Terkeurst. I found this book to be so insightful and helpful and would highly recommend it. I also did the Study Guide with it, which was very beneficial, but doesn’t have to be included.

Here is the description from the back of the book:

Dear friend, I understand, deeply and personally, how hard it is when someone does something unchangeable that also feels unforgivable. I’ve cried countless tears and wrestled through so many questions:

What if it feels like forgiveness won’t actually fix anything?
Does forgiveness mean I have to be in relationship with that person again?
Is it even possible to forgive if they aren’t sorry for what they did?

If you can relate, you’re in the right place. Within these pages, your heart will be tenderly held. Your thoughts don’t need to be edited. Your resistance is understood. But there are some biblical perspectives to consider that have finally brought peace into my life. And I want the same for you.

That pain you’ve been living with. Those unresolved feelings of angst?

You deserve to stop suffering because of what other people have done to you.

And if no one else has ever said they’re sorry for your deep pain, I will. My heart breaks for what breaks so many of us. So, let me take your hand and lead you through how forgiveness is not only possible but is one of the most healing decisions to embrace. — Lysa

We do not have to go through life holding onto unforgiveness. It is very freeing to forgive even when we cannot forget and remember forgiveness is for ourselves not for the other person.