By Rodetta Cook

Rodetta Cook has been a pastor’s wife for over 40 years. She and her husband, Ron, have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. She understands the expectations, loneliness and how hard it is to find balance in ministry as a pastor’s wife. Rodetta also leads the pastor’s wives initiative at Care for Pastors called The Confidante and ministers to hundreds of wives each week. She strives to share blogs with other pastors’ wives that will help them in their ministry walk.

    Don’t Judge a Person by Their Outward Appearance

    Monday, January 14, 2019

    I want to share a blog from one of our pastors’ wives here at Care for Pastors on a topic that we as women know all too well. We are all guilty of judging people as soon as they walk in the room before we ever meet them. Am I the only guilty? I don’t think so. I know God has worked on me in that area over the years, but there are times I go back to that human nature of sizing people up on how they present themselves, how they are dressed, etc. We are all broken and need God’s grace. I pray what Christy shares from her heart today will bless you.

    I remember quite some time ago, before my husband was pastoring, a new family joined the church we attended. A dad, mom and 2 teenage kids. And I was nice to the mom, but didn’t go out of my way, if you know what I mean. She was always polite and smiling, but I had already decided I didn’t like her. Why? She was absolutely beautiful.  I mean, gorgeous. Her name was Cindy and she had the perfect figure to go along with her good looks. I was pregnant with my third child (fat and miserable). But somehow Cindy would find me at church every Sunday and she would so sweetly comment on how cute my 2 girls were and she would ask about me and the new baby. I was cordial, but not interested. (Move on, Sister)!

    Well, I ended up going into early labor and was put on bed rest for the duration of my pregnancy. When Cindy heard about it at church on Sunday, she approached my husband about helping out and he thought it was a grand idea. I was not in the least bit thrilled when I found out. And on top of that she showed up that day bearing gifts, fried fish and several other dishes. She came in and seemed to make herself at home, playing with my girls and making conversation.

    Then she began asking questions, wanting to know how we were going to manage with me on bed rest. We did have a 7-year-old in school and a (very terrible) almost 2-year-old and we were actually very stressed trying to figure everything out. We admitted we really didn’t know how we were going to manage.

    Well, little Ms. Beauty Queen Cindy was there to save the day, sent by God in all her glorious array! Someone picked the oldest up from school each day, but Cindy took care of our little mean, biting, booger wiping, handful, Chloe! For nearly 3 weeks she faithfully and lovingly kept Chloe, not accepting any pay for it. She even managed to cook us some meals too. I became friends with this beautiful woman who I was first so intimidated by and I can say we have been close friends now for over 16 years!

    When we think of looking beyond the outside appearance of someone we generally are speaking of average or poor looking people. God taught me that beautiful people have a soul too, and that I needed to seek to see the inside of them as well. Cindy is a generous, hard-working, people loving, person, but I was not willing to see any of those qualities in her, because all I could see was what was on the outside. So, God showed me her insides by way of her greatly blessing me and I’m so glad He did!

    Never judge a book by its cover and never be afraid to reach out (or in my case) reach back, just because of the way someone looks.

    – Christy

    I appreciate Christy’s transparency in sharing her experience with us and as I said earlier, I know we are all guilty. But I pray we will allow God to help us stop being so judgmental in looking at the outside instead of the heart!

    Help us continue providing resources of care for pastors and their families.

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