By Rodetta Cook

Rodetta Cook has been a pastor’s wife for over 40 years. She and her husband, Ron, have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. She understands the expectations, loneliness and how hard it is to find balance in ministry as a pastor’s wife. Rodetta also leads the pastor’s wives initiative at Care for Pastors called The Confidante and ministers to hundreds of wives each week. She strives to share blogs with other pastors’ wives that will help them in their ministry walk.

    Do You Feel Appreciated?

    Monday, June 20, 2016

    I have asked a good friend of mine, who is a pastor’s wife, to share her experience and thoughts on being appreciated as a pastor’s wife. Enjoy!

    Have you ever wondered, “There is a Pastor Appreciation Day and an Admin Appreciation Day, but why not a Pastor’s Wife Appreciation Day”? Maybe you haven’t.

    There are volunteer appreciation awards, teacher appreciation dinners, and stakeholder’s banquets. But no one has thought of honoring the pastor’s wife with a “Pastor’s Wife Appreciation Day”! It almost sounds silly to us, or maybe a little self-serving?

    Of course the world at large wouldn’t initiate it. Even the Christian bubble we circulate in has not, to my knowledge, ever launched such a day. Maybe it’s just too much to add a celebration of another title in the clergy business. And yet…

    A pastor’s wife labors alongside her husband throughout his ministry; his life-long ministry. She suffers and she supports. She pulls in the harness alongside her husband and/or pulls her own harness towards their same goal of making the church work. All that while doing most of the kid raising and everything that entails within a ministerial environment.

    A pastor’s wife on occasion (read sometimes once in a while; sometimes often) will feel the pelt of church flak no matter how well protected she might be. When her husband is hit, she is hit as well. Always. Every time.

    A pastor’s wife is loyal. Dedicated. Wounded. Loved. Lonely. Appreciated. Unappreciated.

    She is attacked. Sometimes she gets back up. Sometimes she doesn’t. Sometimes she gets back up but she is never the same.

    This woman – although she is not the leader, the general, the admiral, the pastor – she is the second most important person in her pastor-husband’s spiritual battle, the first being God. Have you ever thought of yourself in this way?

    She can help make or break him. She can drive him to his goals or she can drive him crazy. She can bind up his wounds or she can create them. She can lovingly inspire him or cruelly incite him.

    Though she may not be involved in anything at the moment, her position of pastor’s wife alone is honorable and worthy of acknowledging. Her position is coveted but not easily equaled.

    Pastor’s wife – I hope you can feel the warmth of encouragement soon. Even if you don’t, I hope you know how important you are. How much God IS using you. I hope you realize you are loved. You might not be getting that message right now where you are in your pastor’s wife adventure. But trust God; it is true. More than you know. More than you think.

    These are just my thoughts borne out of my own weariness lifted on the breezes of spiritual reinforcement I found at Care for Pastors. If you think you could use some help more than you are receiving on your own, let me urge you to make the call to Care for Pastors. They care for pastors’ wives too.

    ~ Robin

    I know many times I hear from you ladies during Pastor Appreciation month in October that not only do you feel unappreciated but your husband doesn’t receive the appreciation either. I want you to know we love and appreciate you and pray for you and your ministry.

    We are here to help in any way we can to come alongside you in your ministry.

    Help us continue providing resources of care for pastors and their families.

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