By Rodetta Cook

Rodetta Cook has been a pastor’s wife for over 40 years. She and her husband, Ron, have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. She understands the expectations, loneliness and how hard it is to find balance in ministry as a pastor’s wife. Rodetta also leads the pastor’s wives initiative at Care for Pastors called The Confidante and ministers to hundreds of wives each week. She strives to share blogs with other pastors’ wives that will help them in their ministry walk.

    Do You Feel Alone?

    Monday, September 15, 2014

    I am sure there have been times in recent days that you have felt all alone or that no one cares. I would like to share a short email devotional I received from Holley Gerth that I believe we can all learn from.

    Dear You,

    We all have moments when we feel alone. In a world where everyone seems to be connected, it seems ironic that studies show we’re more isolated than ever before. That sense of separateness can create cracks that let lies slip into our hearts.

    Lies that say, “Everyone has more friends than you.”

    Lies that taunt, “Maybe you don’t really belong here.”

    Lies that even accuse,

    “If anyone really knew you, you wouldn’t be loved the same.”

    Can we shudder together at the ugliness of those words? And then can we say as sisters that we won’t listen to them anymore?

    You are not alone. I am not alone. Even in the moments when we feel like we are.

    You do belong. You are wanted. You add value in ways no one else can.

    That’s the way God created it to be. He created relationships with other human beings. He also promised that he would personally always be with us.

    Here’s the catch: we still have the power to shut our hearts. We can say, “I feel alone sometimes, so there must be something wrong with me. I will hide away until I can become perfect. Then I will reveal who I really am.” We can go through a lifetime of church and work and parties this way—showing up but never really showing who we are.

    But it doesn’t have to be that way. Instead we can courageously say, “Here I am, imperfect and messy and broken. We all are. So let’s be that way together.”

    Is this hard? Oh yes. Is it risky? Love always is. Yet it’s also the only way to dissolve the illusion that we’re alone, and to help others do the same. We’re better, stronger, more fully alive together.

    Alone is a feeling but not a fact. Love is with you. “I will never leave you.” Hebrews 13:5

    I need you. You need me. We need each other.


    We as pastors’ wives desperately need each other and need that Confidante to have that safe place to be ourselves.

    Help us continue providing resources of care for pastors and their families.

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