By Rodetta Cook

Rodetta Cook has been a pastor’s wife for over 40 years. She and her husband, Ron, have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. She understands the expectations, loneliness and how hard it is to find balance in ministry as a pastor’s wife. Rodetta also leads the pastor’s wives initiative at Care for Pastors called The Confidante and ministers to hundreds of wives each week. She strives to share blogs with other pastors’ wives that will help them in their ministry walk.

    Are There Fireworks in Your Marriage?

    Monday, June 27, 2016

    As we are preparing to celebrate the 240th birthday of our country next Monday, July 4th, and enjoy fireworks, picnics and time with family, I want to ask you a question that may seem a little strange. Are there fireworks going off in your marriage? Or has ministry taken such a toll on your marriage that there is barely a flame left?

    I am going to talk about a subject that some of you may be uncomfortable with, but I hope not because it is a gift from God and that is sex. Sex is one of the quickest indicators to find out how a couple is doing in their marriage. Because it is the most intimate thing they will ever physically do together. You can do many things together as a married couple and act “happy,” but sex is the true test. So how is your marriage? Are you acting like everything is okay?

    We cannot have sex with layers on so when sin comes into the picture and it is not dealt with biblically, our marriage will be off balance. Sex is as transparent as two people can become and if the marriage is not right, one or both partners will begin layering themselves with masks. There may be unresolved bitterness, guilt, disrespect, frustration or insensitivity in the marriage and the list could go on and on. But if these layers have started being put on it is going to be difficult to allow yourself to become intimate with your mate.

    One of the best ways to help take the layers off and keep them off is filtering your relationship through the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)

    • Love
    • Joy
    • Peace
    • Patience
    • Kindness
    • Goodness
    • Faithfulness
    • Gentleness
    • Self-control

    Do you and your spouse exemplify the fruit of the Spirit to each other? Are there some layers that need to be peeled away so the fireworks can happen?

    I pray you will work at keeping the fireworks in your marriage and loving your spouse as God intended you to love one another.

    Help us continue providing resources of care for pastors and their families.

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