By Rodetta Cook

Rodetta Cook has been a pastor’s wife for over 40 years. She and her husband, Ron, have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. She understands the expectations, loneliness and how hard it is to find balance in ministry as a pastor’s wife. Rodetta also leads the pastor’s wives initiative at Care for Pastors called The Confidante and ministers to hundreds of wives each week. She strives to share blogs with other pastors’ wives that will help them in their ministry walk.

    An Honest Conversation Among Pastors’ Wives

    Monday, January 09, 2017

    The question was recently asked by a pastor’s wife to a group of pastors’ wives, “Am I the only one that doesn’t look forward to Sunday?”

    I want to share with you some of the answers that were received to this question and I am sure you can relate to many of these, if not all of them. And maybe you can even add some of your own.

    • Some Sundays are better than others… others I’m just going through the motions… hopefully this is a season that will pass for you.
    • That’s exactly how I feel…. just going through the motions. We’ve been in the ministry for 21 years now and I love Christ so much… I’m tired of being treated so unfairly.
    • It’s so much work! Sometimes I dream about just being part of the congregation.
    • I’ve dreamed about sneaking away to another church… just to breathe… like 10 minutes away- just for a service to chill… where no one knows me, but someone would probably know me.
    • I have!!! It’s a nice break occasionally. In fact I attended a women’s Bible study at a neighboring church for a few years and met some of my best friends there. I wasn’t their pastor’s wife but met ladies I could just be friends with. It had its ups and down but mostly ups!
    • I feel lonely too. I could never just be “me” at church…. I’m always the Pastor’s wife… that the ladies always seem to find fault in. Its crazy how just a few bitter ladies can make you feel.
    • Same here. Someone is always mad at me or disappointed in me. It wears on you.
    • It is far from a day of rest for us.
    • I used to adore Sundays. It was my favorite day of the week. I never missed a Sunday if my life depended on it. Now I dread Sundays and I feel so guilty. I beg the Lord to give me passion and strength every week.
    • My husband and I are pretty weary. We give the church all we have and we are just very disappointed in our congregation. We moved to a small town this summer and people just aren’t responding. Everything comes before church. It is depressing.
    • We are in a small-town and church takes backseat to everything. We helped revitalize a dying church, but the people don’t want to help. We run everything and now we are losing steam after 4.5 years.
    • The anticipation of Sunday’s stinks.
    • I understand. I deal with an autoimmune disease and fibromyalgia. For me, mornings take everything I have to get moving. So throwing a smile on and going into the morning with all the responsibilities is exhausting.
    • I dread it.
    • I used to; now it’s just stressful.
    • I haven’t been to church in months.
    • My daughter woke up feeling sick and complaining of a tummy ache last Sunday. Is it terrible that I’m relieved that we didn’t have to go to church?
    • Sorry, can’t help but wonder whether to laugh or cry on that one. We all have those days at least I do.
    • I attend worship services elsewhere during the week because no one knows me and I can worship in peace.
    • I work with the kids as Children’s Ministry Leader. If not for them I would not want to go. I have to force myself to go on Sunday morning (when I don’t teach kids). Otherwise, Sunday night and Wednesday night I’m good b/c I get to be with the kiddos. The ones with pure hearts and no ulterior motives. We have been in ministry for almost 30 years. We have been at this church for 2 years. Until this church I have never not wanted to go to church. I could walk away from this church without missing a single beat, if not for the kids.

    Ladies I know ministry is tough and messy at times, but I want to encourage you stay focused on the Lord’s calling and remain faithful to Him. Don’t allow people to rob you of your joy or your calling.

    We are here to help in any way we can on your journey. Please let us come alongside you.

    Help us continue providing resources of care for pastors and their families.

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