Like never before, we live in a world full of tension. Personal tension fed by uncertainty, anxiety, apprehension, nervousness, worry, uneasiness related to current life situations, and the future that is so unclear. Then there is ongoing relational tension with family members, fellow workers, or employees. Of course, there is plenty of tension caused by social networks, especially in this season of political division.
We typically see tension in our lives as something that is always detrimental. The truth is that when unmanaged, tension is destructive, but tension that is managed is constructive. When managed well, it can drive us to make healthy decisions of change, whereas unhealthy tension ignores the benefit of managed tension.
Here are 7 healthy ways to manage personal tensions:
Breathe
Fearfully and wonderfully made, God has given us the ability to breathe. Take a deep breath and exhale it slowly. If you are really tense with tension it will probably be a very shallow breath, but the more you practice deep breathing, the more the tension is released.
Be active
Get up! Exercise will not change the circumstances, but it can reduce some of the emotional intensity you are feeling by clearing your thoughts and letting you deal with your problem more clearly.
Challenge yourself
Find something to give thanks for. Start small, give thanks for the fact that you can take a deep breath, that you can exercise, and then give thanks for more of God’s blessings. Tension and anxiety cannot exist in the mind of a person giving thanks for the blessings of God.
Take control
Stop attempting to control and manage the things you “can’t do” and focus on what you “can do.” It is the difference between living in bondage and living in freedom.
Have some “me time”
Over the years I have learned if I do not take care of me, I cannot take care of others. In all four of the Gospels, we find Jesus going to a mountain, a garden, or a solitary place to rest and care for Himself. His humanity demanded this, so He could care for others.
Connect with people
Tension often tempts us to disconnect from people. Isolation makes all kinds of promises, but never fulfills. We need trusted people to do life with.
Work smarter, not harder
Learn to say “no” to good things and say “yes” to the best. We never have enough time and energy to say “yes” to every good thing.
When we learn to manage personal tension, then we are prepared to manage relational tensions with others. It is an absolute certainty that we will have conflict with others. Much has been written regarding personal conflict with others and the resulting tension. My encouragement is do not ignore the internal tension. But manage the tension with healthy decisions, which will have a profound effect on you physically, emotionally, and spiritually, helping prepare you to manage the inevitable tension with others.
Stephen Covey wrote, “If I were to summarize in one sentence the single most important principle I have learned in the field of interpersonal relations, it would be this: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” If we were to implement this, imagine the relational tension that would be manageable.
