By Ron Cook

Ron and his wife Rodetta have been married for 41 years. They have actively served the Lord together in ministry during the entire time and are co-founders of Care for Pastors. Ron ministers to hundreds of pastors annually through mentorship, counseling, and by phone. He has been a Pastor for 40 years and understands the stress of ministry, and wants to share his longevity in ministry with other pastors and help them finish well.

    10 Questions for Pastors to Ask Their Family

    Wednesday, May 08, 2019

    By Chuck Lawless

    Pastors, want to have an honest conversation with your family? Consider using these questions if you’re willing to take a risk:

    1. What have I done well as a husband and father? I know I’m not perfect, and I do want to make sure I at least keep doing whatever I do well.
    2. Does my love for you as my wife reflect the way I say Jesus loves the church? I preach about Christ’s love for us, but do I live up to that model?
    3. Have I ever embarrassed you from the pulpit? It’s not my intent to do so, but I know I could have crossed a line at some point.
    4. Do you now, or have you ever, seen me as a hypocrite? You know me best, so be honest with me. I’ll try not to be defensive.
    5. Knowing me as you do, would you want me to be your pastor if I weren’t your husband or father? I want to know that you trust my walk with God.
    6. Based on what you know about me, do I read my Bible and pray on days other than Sunday? I want to be a good role model for you during the entire week.
    7. Have you ever felt like I was more committed to the church than to you? I fear what you will tell me, but I need to hear your candid thoughts.
    8. What can I do to show my love for you better than I do? I don’t always clearly see reality, so help me know what I might do.
    9. Have I ever treated you as “the preacher’s wife” or “the preacher’s kids” more than as my loved family? Please forgive me if I’ve ever seen you more as a role than as a person.
    10. What goal can we set together for the rest of the year? Let’s make a plan to strengthen our relationship over the next ten months.

    What other questions would you add to this list?

    Click here to read the original blog on

    Chuck Lawless currently serves as Professor of Evangelism and Missions and Dean of Graduate Studies at Southeastern Seminary. You can connect with Dr. Lawless on Twitter @Clawlessjr and on at

    Help us continue providing resources of care for pastors and their families.

    Pin It on Pinterest