Last week I gave you a brief introduction to this series of conversations that I would like to have about the road to my restoration and the role that Care for Pastors played in getting me there. This week I want to share a little about me and the events that led to my original pursuit of ministry and the personality traits that made it an absolute disaster.
I was an only child until I was 7. My parents divorced when I was very young and my mother remarried. She and my step-father had three children and my life growing up was spent in two very different dynamics. During the week, I would be in a very structured environment, and on the weekends I would be with my very carefree father following him around as he played music in various night clubs and venues. Sometimes he would leave me at home with his mother, my grandmother, and she would eventually become the stability in this often confusing dynamic called, my childhood.
I grew up fast and thought I was better than others my age. I felt more mature and ready to be an adult. School seemed like a waste of time and deferred gratification was not in my vocabulary. At the age of 15, I started going to church for the first time. Now I will be honest—I only went because a girl invited me and I was hoping for some benefits later, but the benefits I ended up receiving were far greater than what I had in mind. God used that situation to introduce me to Him and thus my ministry began. Like my father, I’m a musician, and I discovered quickly that I loved singing about my new-found salvation. I eventually went on the road touring with a Gospel group and this is where I met my wife. She was amazing—talented, beautiful, and a true example of what it means to be Christ-like. God used her to grow my faith and make me a more serious believer, but unfortunately old habits are hard to break. When I felt Him calling me into ministry, I assumed that meant that His desire for me was to become Billy Graham’s replacement, and a very dangerous cycle began. He had placed a calling in my heart, but rather than allowing Him to grow it, I took over and began making plans for how I would do ministry—my way.
Next week I will tell you why that really wasn’t a good idea.